Mom Strength
What keeps us strong?
I asked a few moms in the neighbourhood...here's what they had to say!
Alison
Stories and shared experiences from other women give me strength. Women who have paved the way—who show me their joys and struggles of parenting—empower me to carry on in my own journey as a mother.
Those who are further along than me in the motherhood journey are constantly encouraging and cheering me on with gentle reminders that we can do this alongside one another—even on the days we feel exhausted and are hard on ourselves. The wisdom, advice and compassion they share remind me that I am not alone in this job. We can share the highs and lows together, so that we can show up and be stronger for our children.
Cathy
As my mother shared with me from her mother, "Treat others as you would want to be treated."
Being able to help people gives me strength and my recharge.
I’m a helper and I’m a doer. I fix problems at home and at work.
I’m always ready to listen, lend a hand or an ear. And give a hug to those who just need a hug sometimes!
Helping people is what I do, and seeing my daughter now—willing to lend a hand—gives me pure joy.
Renu
Seeing my kids smile and turn into kind adults with opportunities to chase their dreams gives me strength.
By the way...Renu and her husband are the owners of Village Curry & Spice
Rosa
Tea/coffee. Motherhood is fueled by caffeine.
But seriously, I get strength from seeing the amazing person my child is becoming and that makes me want to continue to do my best for him.
Emily
Love. Love is what gives me strength as a full-time stepmom. It is a powerful motivator for me.
For me, love is the driver for all things when it comes to motherhood and being present for my stepson.
By the way...say hi to Emily, next time you visit A Monkey Tree Emporium in Steveston Village.
Tania
Honestly?
Spending healthy doses of time away from my kids gives me strength as a mom.
While I love hanging out with my kids and husband—liberally making fart jokes around the dinner table, or wandering the forest with them for hours—sometimes I feel like I need to go hide in a secret cave somewhere so I can hear myself think, and just do what I want.
Doing creative projects, playing music, challenging myself to learn new and fun skills, and hanging out with friends to connect or to VENT, eating a meal by myself—all of that re-energizes me, and helps to build me back up to be the best mom I can be for my kids.
Huong
My strength as a mom comes from letting go...
Allowing for the life I imagined to completely fall apart—so my authentic life can finally fall into place.
When I became a Mama, my entire world absolutely descended into chaos.
Death of superficial constructs, surrendering to an inner voice that desperately wanted to be released, letting go of ideals that others held for me haunted me in the early hours of the morning as I breastfed.
As a warrior, the tears were violently unleashed when I realized I had lost the battle of control. Then something happened. I let go.
In the rage, I burnt the toxic paradigms of success. In my emptiness, I washed the expectations that I needed to be a saviour of all things injustice. In my mourning, I saged the insatiable need to constantly improve.
In the fertile fields of these ashes somewhere along the way, wild flowers bloomed effortlessly. The gentle smiles of my son whenever he saw me re-awoken my world of curiosity.
The innocent laughter of my daughter as she splashed in puddles saturated the colours of my landscape.
Observing them dance without worry replaced my delusional ego with a softer, sustainable and more potent form of fulfillment. In my ascension, I discovered a divine love and inner fortitude that was boundless.
By the way...Huong is the Founder and Creative Director of The Spotted Frog in Steveston Village.
Clare
The Internet! Let me explain...
23 years ago, when I became a single mother to a five-year-old and a two-year-old, there was no such thing as the Internet…I could not go to "cyberspace" (yes, that's what we used to call it!) to get help and advice raising my children. Fortunately, I belonged to a fabulous post natal group that I found after my first was born, BUT there were no single parents in it. I did find strength talking to other parents who were experiencing a similar situation, but there were not many of us around!
I wish I could go back to my 34-year-old self, and say that it's going be OK—in fact, it's better than OK!
Now that I am a parent of two adults, I am finding the truth in the phrase "once you are a mom, you are always a mom". When my oldest left the nest and went away to school… that is when I found strength in the Internet —thank goodness for FaceTime! I don't know how my mom survived when I went away to school. There were a few letters and maybe a couple long distance phone calls to send money!
I also turned to the Internet when my younger child came to me with a life-changing situation. I found a support group for parents going through a similar situation. They are from all over the world and we are sharing our stories, and it's incredible!
And then there is Instagram. Sometimes I tell my kids the only way this empty nester knows her babies are alive is by their posts on social media! And please remember to text poor lonely old mum sometimes!
Ladies—you will get yourself back. I wouldn't trade my experiences as a mother for
anything, and I am so proud of who my babies have grown to be—but I also am growing myself. At 56 not having to pack diaper bags, make lunches or drive to soccer practice, I have some 'Me' time. And it's still the internet that gives me the strength!!
By the way...Clare is a local artist. She has published several books that feature her photography, as well as a Steveston Colouring Book.
